fairycosmos:

unfortunately if you are an old friend of mine i will always care about you no matter what even if we haven’t seen each other in forever because i still remember what you were like 7 years ago and i still remember how it felt to be young with you and i still have a lot of love for you in the back of my mind

(via acursivelullaby)

89rooms:

“…the ability to bloom in sweet pain.”

— Thomas Mann, tr. by Willard R. Trask, from “The Black Swan,” wr. c. 1954

(via interludesdawn)

I’m actually just going to end up boring myself to death at this rate

It is wild that I can tell some friends that I have had surgery and not a single one of them will follow up and ask how I am doing afterwards. Is that not common courtesy? 

Being completely honest here, I have no idea how to make friends as an adult. Having such a protected life growing up, I never really adventured or did anything interesting and now it leads to conversations with new people that stall out quickly. This world is lonely and seeing my past friends succeed makes me incredibly happy, but reaching out to them when it feels like my world is still the same (but mildly worse) since high school feels…embarrassing. I thought my life would be different now and I wouldn’t be as scared to grow up, but I am. I’ve never felt so /stuck/ in my life. Also, sometimes this loneliness feels like I should try to revive friendships that maybe fizzled out for a reason. 

It’s scary enough to navigate this world and to do it by yourself is even harder. I’m not really sure what has pushed me to write this whole thing out right now when I should definitely be working but I guess this was eating at me. 

I went to see Encanto and I truly haven’t sobbed that hard watching a movie since I saw Coco. These two movies have mirrored my life in ways I didn’t think they would and it hurts a lot. 

Man, I haven’t posted on here since 2019. I have not figured a single thing out since then.